Death by Orgasm: The Vampire Bride

The ‘Death by Orgasm’ range of bullets features some of the best, inexpensive bullet vibrators I’ve come across. Not only are they all rather affordable, but they arrive in a gothic themed tin - how many bullets do you find that come in reusable packaging while still being affordable? I was excited to hear there were two new additions to this sex toy brand, added especially for Halloween, but don’t worry, as you should be able to find them online for sale even out of season.

The Vampire Bride is one of the new additions, being twice the size of a standard bullet vibrator and twice as deadly. The bullet arrives in a coffin shaped tin; on the front there is a picture of an eerie graveyard, shrouded in fog, with a full moon waxing in the sky, and a single raven perched upon a tombstone. You will also find the brand and product names, with an image of a silhouetted woman wearing bat wings. I’m not overly fond of the fancy dress woman, as to me it doesn’t really fit with the packaging. It’s a little too clichéd smutty sex toy, even in silhouette. On the back you will find another sticker with a small amount of product information, stating that it is waterproof and includes two N batteries – ‘Holy Waterproof’ and ‘Bat-teries included’. I have tried removing the stickers from the tin but haven’t had much luck. I’ve found this to be a problem with all the Death by Orgasm packaging, which is a shame, as I would like to be able to leave them lying around more casually. When opening the coffin you will find the bullet resting in a velveteen plastic insert. Unlike some other Death by Orgasm toys, there are no additional batteries resting peacefully alongside the item. When you remove the bullet from the rest, you will notice the cross-like indent in the velvet, which I feel is a quirky touch.

The bullet is double the size of a standard bullet, being 4 inches in length. It’s made from smooth plastic, and is safe with water-based and silicone lubricants. It causes mild drag when rubbed against dry skin. The plastic feels a little cheap to me, but I doubt it’ll easily warp or damage. At the tip of the toy you will find an indent, presumably from the moulding process, which I wish wasn’t there, as it can ruin the gliding sensation of The Bride when in use, though I doubt many will find this a problem. You will find a push-button control in the battery cap. To use the toy, you will need to unscrew the battery cap first, and remove a small piece of paper blocking the batteries from the connectors. Be careful not to lose the waterproof seal or remove the clear plastic cylinder, as this may prevent your toy from working. The bullet has 10 vibration settings, the first three being continuous vibrations, and the following seven being a mixture of pulsation and escalation modes. To turn the toy off you can simply hold down the push-button for a few seconds, rather than having to scan through to the end. Unfortunately my two favourite settings on this vibrator are the ninth and tenth settings. The ninth setting consists of 8 quick pulsations with short pauses, and then an elongated vibration, before cycling through again. The tenth setting is the same but sped up a bit. These two settings also remind me of the incidental music from classic horrors, such as in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho’s infamous shower scene.

When using the bullet I found it best to use a small amount of additional lubrication, due to the manufacturing indent at the tip. The vibrations are rather strong compared to standard sized bullet vibrators, and are focussed mostly at the tip. You can still feel them at the base of the toy, but they don’t feel as numbing when gripping, unlike some vibrators where the vibrations are felt through my fingertips more than my clitoris. After selecting the vibration mode I preferred, being the ninth and tenth, the toy didn’t take long to bring me to orgasm. I also liked how the length of the bullet and strength of the vibrations worked well during shallow insertion, and stimulated the vaginal entrance. Due to the length of this bullet, I feel it’ll be a nice addition for anyone who’s new to insertable sex toys, or just likes toys with a small girth. The vibrations are relatively strong, and felt a lot stronger than the smaller bullets in the Death by Orgasm range, but it is also correspondingly noisier. 

Cleaning the Bride is simple, thanks to its smooth exterior and being Holy-Waterproof. Simply use your standard antibacterial wash and warm water.

Overall, I like The Vampire Bride; it’s a nice addition to the Death by Orgasm range. It’s a strong bullet that’s well built, while still being affordable. I like the coffin tin, and even though it may not be to some people’s taste, it is handy as you can remove the velvet insert, leaving additional room for other items such as condoms and lube. This bullet would be a great addition for anyone looking for a step-up in power, or those wishing to experiment with a smaller toy during vaginal insertion or couple play.

The Vampire Bride bullet vibrator can be found at Lovehoney.